Friday, June 24, 2011

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (2006)

    Originally I was going to post a movie review today but something interesting happened. I am a gamer. Yes, I admit that I sit in front of a computer, or TV, for days on end and play video games. With that being said my boyfriend mentioned the other day that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is coming out in November. I got really excited because I played Oblivion like mad crazy for weeks on end, and then a light bulb went off in my head because I remembered that Sean Bean had done some voice acting for it. The sad thing is that I never finished Oblivion because I got stuck on a level that I didn't have the correct spells to get through. At the time that was okay because I was having a lot of fun breaking into houses in game and stealing stuff while people slept. It was a lot of fun, you ought to try it! However, I never found out if Sean Bean had died.

    For those of you who don't know Oblivion is the fourth installment in a fantasy game franchise. Basically you have to help Martin Septim (Sean Bean), the bastard heir to the throne of Tamriel, defeat an evil cult called the Mythic Dawn and help close some gates that open to the evil world of Oblivion. The gates were opened because no heir supposedly existed to the kingdom. So, with your help Martin will become king and the gates will be closed. That is the basic plot, if I get more into it I'll be here half the day. With that being said you get to talk to Martin in game which is really cool. I didn't know Sean had did any voice acting for it until then. I instantly recognized his voice and thought how cool is it that you get to be in the presence of his disembodied voice! Sure, Martin doesn't look exactly like him but you can't have everything!

    Since this blog is devoted to the many deaths of Sean Bean I have to tell you what happens to Martin. At the end of the game you help him defeat the evil characters. Then he binds himself with a dragon avatar, defeats the lead bad guy, gets fatally wounded in the process and promptly dies when the dragon turns to stone. That's right, he turns into a giant dragon statue. I've read in a couple of places that he just disappears when the dragon is turned to stone but that doesn't really make any sense. If he bound himself to the dragon avatar then it goes without saying that whatever happens to the dragon will happen to him. It would kind of suck becoming a giant stone dragon, you would have to worry about such things as birds dirtying you up and kids aiming spitballs at you. I have to honestly say this this particular death of Sean is among my favorites because it is so creative. I mean, how many characters turn into giant stone statues? Okay, sure, there is the Kraken in Clash Of The Titans. However, Sean Bean didn't appear in that so that automatically makes it less nifty on all counts.

    Here is Sean Bean's death as Martin in all its glory. The speech he makes at the end might just bring a tear to your eye.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

When does being a fan turn creepy?

    As I previously posted the other day I have been a fan and have had a crush on Sean Bean for close to 20 years. This has had me thinking lately about how people turn having celebrity crushes, and general fandom of a celebrity, into something much creepier: becoming a stalker. Where exactly is the line drawn?

    Over the years I have read posts by women online begging to meet Sean. I have always been very realistic about meeting him, meaning that I know that I probably never will. What the heck are these women going to do once they meet him? I have always wondered that. Are they going to say the whole 'I'm your biggest fan' spiel, or take their clothes off in front of him, or even hope that he will magically fall in love with him and they will end up together? If you have fantasies about a certain celebrity floating inside your head for years and then you seek them out on purpose chances are that your dreams are going to be crushed because celebrities are human just like anybody else. They can be the type of person who loves to talk, or they can be the type that wants to avoid people. Who the heck knows!?  If they are sane they will find you creepy as hell for flying 5,000 miles in order to try to meet them, because I know I would if I was in their place!

    I don't think there is anything wrong with having a crush on an actor or actress, as long as you are grounded in reality. I think people go over the edge when they start asking online where the celebrity in question lives and beg and beg to meet them. Women are drawn to male entertainers like a moth is to a flame. A guy can be in a really bad hardcore punk band and I guarantee you that there will be women who want to screw him just because he plays guitar or sings. When you are a fan you have to realize that you are not special, because there are thousands upon thousands who also like them. Thinking that you have some sort of special connection with them is just something made up in your mind because you can't have such a thing with somebody that you have never personally met. Plus, the fact that you have barely a clue as to what kind of person the celebrity is in real life.

    This brings me to how celebrities are portrayed in the tabloids and online. I think that fandom in general can have a beehive mentality, meaning that they will assume something about a celebrity as a group and not really question the information provided to them through the press. Tabloids would love for all of us to believe that being an actor is a glamorous, but I really don't see it that way. When you become famous you are stalked not only by fans but by the press who, if you let them, don't let you live a private life. I think it would be horrible not to be able to go where you want in fear that somebody is going to misinterpret what you do. There are, of course, 'celebrities' who love the press and who are attention whores, but the ones who are just doing their jobs deserve more respect than that. The reason why all of this happens is because the press thinks we are constantly interested in celebrities. Personally, I feel that some things should remain a mystery. I don't want to know the personal details about somebody else's life because that is none of my business. Would you want people to know intimate things about you, such as why exactly a relationship you were in didn't work out? Do you really need to know something like that?

    When it comes down to it I am a fan of Sean Bean but I don't think I am special, think we are connected* or feel that I have to meet him in order to live a fulfilled life. Maybe that's the difference between a fan and a stalker; a fan respects a celebrity and is happy with just watching them on film while somebody over the edge feels the need to invade their privacy and somehow force themselves into their lives.

* As far as I know the only thing him and I have in common is the fact that we both have the same exact eye color. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't love old school punk or own a pair of purple Converse. I will eat my words if I am proven wrong on both those counts!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Musings On Game Of Thrones


    This isn't going to be a review exactly because I have a lot to say about the series and about Sean Bean's performance in it in general. I wanted to wait until it was all over before writing anything because I had no idea whether or not they would add or subtract anything in the adaptation of the books. If I had written this before the last episode and all of a sudden there were unicorns and a surprise appearance by Tom Cruise then I would have felt like I was depriving you the audience of something. What is that something? I haven't quite figured that one out as yet.

    I had read all of the books this series is based on a few years back. In fact I had read them all a few times, so I was very happy when I found out that they were going to be adapted into a television series. Imagine how even more happy I was finding out that Sean was going to be playing Ned Stark. Shortly after that surprise, I'm talking merely seconds, I was then sad because in my mind I thought that well, there he goes dying yet again! Even though I had read the books a lot in the past, and had forgotten some details, I totally remembered that the character gets beheaded. In fact I remember crying the first time I read that section of the book because I thought that it was so sad that such a cool character was offed by an inbred little brat.

    With all of that being said I think that Sean did a very fine job in this series and I'm very happy that he was allowed to keep his accent in it. If they would have made him do a posh accent in that role it wouldn't have worked for me at all. Not every single character in a series is going to have exactly the same accent. There is nothing worse than watching a film or series and having to hear everybody attempting to sound the same. It never works because the English actors will either sound too posh or if they are forced to sound American it will sound totally generic. For some reason when English accents are used in a series it feels more serious than say when American ones are used. Could you imagine the series I Claudius being done with American accents? Neither could I.

    One thing I noticed about Sean in this series is that he gained some weight for it. It's really noticeable in the first episode, in fact more so than in the rest. At first I thought I was going a little nutty but when I asked my boyfriend if he looked especially more plump in the beginning he agreed. I always imagined Stark to be a little tubby because he was an aging warrior type character so that was the right choice in my opinion. There is nothing worse than somebody being in a book based film and having not fit into the physical characteristics of a character at all. Let me take that back, because I find that actors who do not physically fit into historically based roles bother me even more; Jonathan Rhys Meyers in The Tudors comes to mind. This may sound a bit uppity but to be quite honest I couldn't even finish the first episode of The Tudors because Meyers is just about physically the opposite of Henry VIII.

    I have read that Sean may appear in some future episodes as a flashback character. I honestly can't remember if that happened in the books or not so we shall see. Hopefully that will work and won't be written as some over sentimentalized garbage. I don't want Jon Snow sitting in camp with his balled fist holding his cheek up reminiscing about the good times he and his father shared while a tear drips down his face. If that sort of thing happens I will turn it right off! Also, I wouldn't want him to be a total ghost of Macbeth type figure who just stands there silently while pointing at somebody like he is frozen in some sort of disco move. That is sort of disturbing image to ponder isn't it? Now I have Staying Alive stuck in my head...oh great.

    His performance was so strong in this series that I feel that he should get some sort of nomination for it. Ned Stark is a very complex character and Sean really had to put on different acting hats as it were. He had to connect with Arya, behead somebody and show genuine contrition. I don't think many actors could have pulled it all off convincingly. This role is probably going to open even more doors for him which can only be a good thing. As long as he doesn't start doing romantic comedies I am very happy for him. Could you imagine him appearing in a film with Jennifer Aniston? The very thought makes me shudder in horror.

    Well, I guess this ended up being a sort of review didn't it? If you haven't been able to tell I love the series and hope that the second season is as well done. I will still be watching even though Sean is no longer starring in it.

Above is claim token to have this blog confirmed. Will be removed once they check to see that I am not a bot of some sort.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Ca$h (2010)

    Before I start talking about this film and as to whether or not Sean dies in it I would like to warn those who have not seen this film that there will be spoilers contained within. The name of this blog kind of gives that away doesn't it?

    This morning was the first time I have ever seen this movie. This is due to the fact that I work a lot, I don't stalk his IMDB profile, and it wasn't widely released theatrically in this country. With that being said I find it to be an entertaining film and Sean is without a doubt the best actor in it. Before I say any more about that let's dig into the plot a bit. Sean plays a fellow named Pyke Kubic who promises his twin brother Reese, who is in jail, that he will fetch some money. It was stolen in a heist, packed in a suitcase and thrown from an overpass before he was caught and arrested. Sounds simple right? Well, the suitcase lands on the hood of car owned by Sam, played by Chris Hemsworth, who proceeds to start spending it with the help of his wife Leslie, who is played by Victoria Profeta. Pyke tracks them down and demands that they give him the money.

    Most of the movie deals with Pyke getting his money back and with how these three particular characters deal with each other. Sean is by far the best actor that appears in it because he is believable playing the 'heavy'. Anybody who is a fan of his knows that it's kind of his specialty and why he plays that type of character in so many films. When he walks in and starts destroying their belongings you can easily believe that he will hurt them if they don't produce the cash. To be quite honest I kind of wish he hurts them more than he does in the film because those two characters come across as kind of mildly idiotic. If I found a suitcase full of cash I wouldn't wildly spend it and buy things such as a brand new $70,000 Range Rover, because I figure it would be drug money or some such thing. Sam has to talk Leslie into spending it but it only takes about two minutes. They have no common sense and pretty much deserve what happens to them.

     Since Sam and Leslie are unlikeable to me it makes me like Pyke all the more. Okay, I'll admit it, I usually root for the bad guys when I watch a film. Plus, I'm a huge fan of Sean and that makes me root for the character he's playing no matter whether it be of the good or bad variety. I'm not claiming to be totally impartial, but I really don't see how anybody could find those two characters to be totally sympathetic. Also, there is the fact that Profeta isn't a very good actress. Her reactions to the situation that her character finds herself in seem really forced. I don't know whether it's because she is in a film with more experienced actors or the director told her to play it that way, but there were several scenes in which I really wanted Pyke to do her some damage. However, he does tell her to shut up several times, rejects her sexual advances and calls her out on enjoying the fact that seems to take a shine to robbing stores.

     Sean plays Pyke quite well and it's a complex character instead of being just a one dimensional evil sort of fellow. Pyke is a financial whiz who can crunch numbers at a drop of the hat, he practices some sort of yoga, and can be cheeky when the mood suits him. There are times in the film in which the character is being really violent but it's sort of a turn on. I don't know whether or not that's because I find Sean to be attractive or I'm sort of twisted individual. If that character forced me to sit next to him and stroked my arm I would need to fan myself from the excitement of it all. With that being said Sean can continue to play violent bad guys for as long as he wants to because I will be the last person to complain about it.

    I can imagine that some of you reading this are getting impatient and want me to get down to the nitty gritty, to tell you exactly what happens to Sean's character in this film. Well, it's actually not exactly cut and dry since he plays twins. He does indeed die in this movie, but then he doesn't. Meaning that Pyke is shot in the head by the annoying couple and then compacted in a car while his brother walks out of prison in the end of the film to hopefully meet out some justice. I really don't want to see a sequel because just the happy thought of those two getting what is coming to them makes me giddy enough. That's right, I want to see those two die a horrible death for what they did to Pyke. Why is it that Sean's evil and far more interesting characters always have to shuffle off before anything happens to the people who kill him? Perhaps that is a mystical question that we are not allowed to know.


Friday, June 17, 2011

Sean Bean, the defender of women...

   By now everybody knows about what happened the other day in London. If you don't know here is a link to the awesomeness.  How many people these days, let alone celebrities, would defend the honor of a woman? Why, Sean Bean would apparently! This, among the other things I have heard about him over the years, makes him seem more human that a lot of the other celebrities that are around these days. Not only does he play a badass in many of his films he is apparently of a similar disposition in real life. Kudos to you Mr. Bean! If I lived anywhere near you I would buy you a drink.

   On the other hand I have read some of the reactions to this event and they have made me sad. What the woman in question does for a living has nothing to do with the fact that she was harassed by a jerk and didn't deserve to be disrespected like that. It's nice to know that Sean Bean thinks the same way as I do. Chivalry is not dead.

   By the way, my first review will be up by Sunday morning.

Why I have created this blog...

   I have been a Sean Bean fan since the year 1993. Yes, I can pinpoint my discovery of him to that exact year. A woman I worked with in a retail establishment and I were talking about Masterpiece Theatre and she asked me if I had seen the series called Sharpe's. I said no, and she preceded to tell me about how gorgeous the star Sean Bean was. I had my doubts about how hot he would be because I have kind of a strange taste in men, but the minute I watched an episode of Sharpe's I became hooked and instantly lusted after him. There was just something about the way he looked that made me want to jump him and have his illegitimate offspring. Anyway! From that time I have watched just about everything he has appeared in and have watched him get more and more famous as the years have passed.

   One thing that I have noticed over the years about his performances is that his characters almost always die. Not normal deaths but by things such as coffins falling on him and being impaled by the point of a giant satellite dish receiver. This has become a running joke in his fan base and I have felt for a while that somebody should start a blog to address this issue. Well, I guess I am the one to do it! Please be warned that by the very nature of this blog that there will be spoilers, however I will be doing much more than stating in one sentence if he dies in a given film and the manner of his death. Rather, I will go into depth about how I feel about the character and the film. Every once in a while I will also post news about him and other tidbits. I hope others find this blog entertaining and enjoy his films as much as I do.